DrAmA?!

I am getting so sick and tired of all the drama lately. I'm so ready for school to get out!! Why does everyone have to pull me into drama? It's like they are looking for it. Like they're looking for a way to bring me down. I heard a quote the other day that said "My glass is neither half empty or half full, but cracked. Everytime happiness fills it half full it seems to seep away before I can grasp it." That's how i feel lately. And all those cracks are the people trying to bring me down. Well keep on trying! I'm not backing down! You are a two-faced who says one thing to me and turns and says the opposite to him! Don't even try denying it! I've read the messages. Why are you trying so hard to make him turn against me? Why do you care? Why's it even matter if him and I are friends. You said you would always be there for me. That you were my friend. Friends don't do this to each other. You pretend everything is fine with us but then go around making rumors trying to break us down.?? I don't understand you? You say you want me to succeed, at least, you used to. What? Was I starting my own life and you didn't like it? Was i actually becomming happy and not JUST with you and you didn't like it? Honestly I want to know! I want to know what I did to deserve this. I want to understand your side of the story. I don't know who to believe anymore. This summer I need to start over. I wish I could move away but I have no where to go now... So how am I going to start over? I'm going to make new friends. I"m going to surround myself with people that care about me. You wanted to make me feel like the only person I have in my life that mattered was you but that's not true, other people care about me too. It's not only you so stop trying to make me dependent on you like I was before. You are the one that taught me to become my own person. I am!! So it just confuses me when you turn around and are mad at me for that.... I did change, but I never tried hurting you, I was always still there for you. But now you just try making me feel guilty and dragging HIM down now too?!? Just stop. You've changed too, and I honestly don't know you anymore or even want to. You have always ment so much to me, and it breaks my heart this is how it ends. . .

on a bit happier note...

things have been getting back to normal! i don't want to even try making it sound like i did it all on my own... it was all thanks to my friend. you see some nights we have a truth night; we just sit up all night at talk about everything we've kept hidden from each other. we open ourselves up completely, trusting in each other. it's a big step for each of us but we both know the other wont judge, that is why we have such a strong friendship. that night we lit a fire and took out some blankets and marshmallows right out back of her house. we were sitting there looking at the stars and talking. she was telling me all of her secrets and i knew i was the only one to hear these. it made me feel very proud to be the first person for her to completely confide in. when i was telling her the things that have been happenning and the feelings i've been having inside she listenned. she told me that i'm not the only one going through hardships and that the things i was feeling guilty for wasn't all my fault and that people make mistakes. she helped me so much. no silly boy can compare to her. i'm very blessed to have such a great friend there for me and lately i've gone back to my normal happy go lucky self stronger and smarter than ever! :)